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I know the feeling. I honestly do.
I know how it feels to look around at your messy house, and even your life, and say the word “impossible.” I know what it’s like to think there is too much to do and not enough time…or energy…or arms. I know the discouragement of waking up full of ambition for finally tackling the out-of-control toys and the stacks of dishes, only to have your plans derailed by a fussy baby or a disobedient child.
I know. I’ve been there. Many days, I’m still there in some shape or form.
Sure, if you were to stop by my house this afternoon, you might think it’s lovely and clean, but I can see the piles all over the desk that drive my husband absolutely crazy (although he’d never say so). And I can’t forget the mess that hides behind a certain bedroom door where there’s barely a path to get from the bed to the closet. I know the shelves I promised to straighten up months ago, last season’s clothes I never put away, the sticky spot that’s been on the kitchen floor for at least a week.
Sometimes it seems like everyone in the world must have their lives put together.
And color coded.
And stacked in cute little bins.
Everyone except for us, that is. No, we feel just plain overwhelmed by homemaking.
We really want our houses clean and our stacks of mail sorted and filed away, but it’s just out of our grasp. We have every good intention of getting things done, but then we’re so weary and overwhelmed that we make the choice to eat chocolate today and attack the work tomorrow instead. And we spend one more day feeling like a homemaking failure.
See? I told you I know.
At some point we have to decide that enough is enough. We must stop making excuses and then guilting ourselves into inaction. We have to quit the dramatic swings between comparing ourselves to others one moment and being satisfied with our own laziness the next. We don’t have to live like this. We really, truly don’t.
Decide to Take Action
Our homes didn’t fall apart in a day, and they won’t be glued back together in one, either. That’s alright. Every step we take toward dealing with our overwhelming homemaking issues – big or small – will be one step better than things were when we started.
One of the best “first steps” we can take is to challenge ourselves to turn off the phone, the computer, the iPad, and the television for one hour each day. This one hour challenge will sting a little, kind of like ripping off a band-aid, but it’s amazing what can be accomplished when we aren’t checking Facebook or replying to email. I double-dog dare you to give it a try.
Also, we need to keep in mind that what someone else’s home looks like does not matter. Your husband will not be more or less blessed because of how clean Suzy Homemaker’s kitchen counters look in those pics on her blog. And your children will not feel neglected because their toys aren’t organized just like that magazine article described.
Everyone lives with different situations, limitations, and starting points. Don’t let all those perfect images bully you into thinking it’s hopeless. That’s just a lie.
Still, even with the best attitude and resolve, the mountain of work in front of us can be daunting. Catching up is always harder than keeping up. This means the path to getting our homes into the proper condition won’t be easy, but maintaining that level of clean will be much, much easier. Trust me on this one!
Suggestions for where to begin:
1. Take care of time sensitive issues.
- Check for any appointments or activities you may have forgotten.
- Look for bills that need paid.
- Think about other things with a time associated, such as the library books needing returned, the dry cleaning waiting for pick-up, or the permission slip begging to be signed.
2. Focus on food and clothes first.
- Figure out what you’ll feed everyone today, and then make a menu for the rest of the week.
- Decide when you’re going to make the next menu plan and what day you’ll go grocery shopping.
- Gather the laundry and work at it until you see the end in sight.
- Don’t worry about anything else until you can feed everyone and have enough of the laundry washed, dried, and folded so there will only be one or two loads each day from here on out.
3. Make a simple morning routine.
- Follow these steps for making a morning list that works for you.
- You can also sign-up for my FREE printable Cleansheet To Do List if you’d like to follow my Morning To Do List.
- Start small and don’t worry if the list takes most of the day instead of just the morning. It will get easier with time!
4. Make a simple afternoon and evening routine.
- Make a list that includes only what must be done to keep things running smoothly (such as finishing the laundry, making dinner, washing dishes, etc.)
- Again, if you sign-up for my FREE Cleansheet To-Do List, you’ll find these routines, too. But be sure to start small. In the beginning, cross off anything that is not essential for you.
- Get comfortable with your basic routines before adding additional tasks. Even a few chores in the morning and afternoon will be a huge improvement!
- Do not get discouraged if it takes a couple weeks for your morning and afternoon routines to become habit. Keep working and you’ll become more and more efficient at completing the tasks.
5. Choose one special task to do each day.
- Pick one weekly cleaning task to do each day, such as running the vacuum or dusting.
- Or, set a timer and work on one area of your home that needs cleaned or decluttered.
- Don’t worry about perfection, just do something!
The company my husband works for has this motto: “Better today than we were yesterday; better tomorrow than we are today.” Keep working to make your home just a little better today than it was yesterday and better tomorrow than it is today. You can do it!
Thanks for the tip… I’m going to start today with just One area like laundry and dishes and see how it goes instead of trying to clean the whole house in a day thanks
Thank you for putting this out there. I have felt like such a failure for not keeping a tidy home. I have been so ashamed that I don’t invite people over and tell my kids no their friends can’t come over because I am afraid of judgement from the other parents. I feel like I was the only female in the world to not meet the expectations of what should be one of my responsibilities. Why is there this stigma? Do men feel like this? I am a working mom. Why do I feel shame for not being able to keep my home clutter free? How common are these feelings? Thank you, thank you for your honesty and help.
Im so with you on that note. I’m enlisting the help of my kids to get in on it too!
I really know where you come from. I was raised to never have others or friends over . I’m paralyzed by my clutter. I get exhausted just thinking about it. I was very OCD when I was younger but I had a real nervous breakdown. I knew how to run the perfect house but now I have no idea how to do it again. My brain doesn’t function the way it used to. I get upset knowing that someone may come to my house and will see the way I live now. You are not the only female in the world struggling with this very real situation. We all are our on worse enemy. Sometimes I will turn on the TV show “Hoarders” and I ease up on myself some knowing that I am not the worst! God bless you in your struggles. Marybeth
You said exactly how I feel!!!
I am a dad of a 3 yr old and a 36 yo husband . I feel like every step forward takes me back 3. When I clean the kitchen I come home to more cuos or dishes in the sink and nothing taken out of the dish washer. So after working from 7-3 I go to my second job grocery shopping for others and then come home to clean my mess exhausted. My son and husband went to Disneyland this week. So I am finding my starting point . I have grabbed all laundrty dishes and unworn clothes… Cleaning and decluttering. We moved into our house almost 2 yrs ago and I still have boxes labeled Master bedroom sitting in my bed room… Today is the day.. and it is true maintenance is always easier once you have a routine. But yes to answer your question. I am embarrassed and ashamed and frustrated and feel like the only one it bothers is me.
I grew up in a home where my mom didn’t want friends over unless there was time to prepare. I spent most of my time at my friends house that was more relaxed and vowed my kids would be able to have friends drop in any time. Kids don’t care about what the house looks like just that they are welcome.
OMG! I think Ive been cloned! I feel the exact same way!!,
You just read my life right now out loud. Thanks for the insightful and hopeful blog.
Great, I’m moving and selling my condo in 2 weeks and my house is a wreck and its been humid and rainy.For the showings it was fine , but final walk thru is in two weeks!! Im gonna take your suggestions, but first I’m getting a cup of coffee..
I love your comment about “color coded and all stacked in little bins”. I have a niece with a spotless house and even with 4 boys! If she is asked where something is she can go to the container it is in and produce it. She is OCD and can’t help it. I have selective OCD. I am so particular about certain things but when it comes to the house it is all or nothing. Unfortunately, I tend to run on the nothing side of that when it comes to clutter. I feel like I wouldn’t be embarrassed for you to come to my house.
hi after a run of illiness & work being done its hard to get started
love ur tips!
GOD BLESS U!
I seriously needed this today! Thanks for the great tips and for the empathy!
I’m so glad it was an encouragement to you!
I just wanted to let you know that I am grateful for the time you have taken to write this article. Sometime it’s very frustrating to keep a routine going, with my work schedule and family it is sometime impossible. But thank you very much for this post.
Dafne
Thank you so much for this. I am at my wits end. I have a 6yr old daughter and a husband. Neither seem bothered by the mess and seem not to have any qualms creating more. I really need to get a handle on it for my own sanity.
This post truly speaks to me and I cannot thank you enough for it. I have four boys, one of whom has a lot of special needs and is often like having 10 kids so I get overwhelmed daily. It’s the Morning Makeover series (which two months in and I’m on day-
d 10) and lists such as those included here that provide guides that make life more manageable. My life, and my family’s life has definitely improved since I found this blog!
Nancy, I’m so glad this was an encouragement to you! You have a hard job, but it’s worth every bit of time and energy you pour into your family! Remember that caring for a home and family is not a race; it’s a marathon. Take your time as you work on your home and give yourself lots of grace.
Thank you for posting this! Sometimes it’s so easy to be overwhelmed by the clutter. This is a good reminder to start somewhere.
I needed this too. I’ve been sick all week (worst in ages!). I had my sisters help me clean yesterday. My destructive toddler threw stuff off of tables and all over the floor as soon as they walked out the door. My health is poor and my family is either too young to be a huge help or messy (hubby). Being gone all weekend last weekend for Christmas and all the new stuff, the sickness, the mess, the clutter! Ahhh! I had my 4 year old pick up everything off the floor this evening. There are still piles on the table, piles on the counters, way too many toys to be purged- BUT today I got the laundry finished except the load in the dryer. The floor is visible. The couch is clean. We all ate leftovers. I put away a couple big things. Got some online stuff done that I’d been to sick to do. The kids got a bath. I hope to put away dishes and fold/put away that last load. Being sick and barely hobbling around, I feel accomplished. Tomorrow’s goal is dishes and clear that table. Then rest with the in laws for tamales.
Thank you for your tips. I recently became the sole bread winner for the family, and I’m in school. I’ve been having trouble keeping up with the house, kids, work, school, pets, etc… I am willing to try anything at this point if it will help me keep up with the house work.
I googled “my house is a mess” and came across this blog. I am so overwhelmed with work and taking care of my two kids ( 1 & 5) plus a messy husband, I have zero energy or desire left to declutter my messy home. Reading about your experience on this was like reading about what I am going through in my own life, word for word. I need to plan- meals, laundry, bills, shopping, so I can start decluttering my home, my life! I need to not be discouraged and light a fire under my butt to do this! Thank you for sharing your story, I don’t feel so alone now about this and feel less like a failure about my mess.
This is obviously for people that don’t work every day.
I am a retired nurse living in beautiful Floruda.I relate to what these girls are saying.I Was super organized when working but now I can not get much done.I liked your advice,turn off the tv,facebook etc.I am going to try your advice,do one thing everyday.Thankyou.
I was thinking the same thing! If I had all day, my house wouldn’t be cluttered, lol
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who was thinking this!
Can you tell me the difference to the Simply Cleansheets and the decluttering book?
Sure! MY eBook Clutter-Free Clean {Clutter Free Tips + Printable Cleaning Lists} has tips and ideas on things like “how to deal with clutter-overload,” as well as specific tips for various areas of your home (ie. kitchen, bathroom, office, etc.). At the back, there are printable checklists for each room in your house. The Kitchen Clutter list, for example, will have things like “sort and organize pantry” and “sort and organize silverware drawer.” There are nine different checklists to help you declutter, clean, and organize your home. These lists are great for spring cleaning, for when company is coming, or for simply knowing what to clean and keeping track of what you’ve already done.
Simple Cleansheets is a collection of printable to-do lists that each have a Morning Routine, an Afternoon/Evening Routine, and a Weekly Task List. Then at the bottom of each Cleansheet is a Targeted Cleaning & Organizing List that rotates to a different area of your home each week. The Cleansheets help you keep up with the basics through the routines and also help you work your way through cleaning and organizing your entire home over the course of the year. I print up a new Cleansheet at the beginning of each week and use it to keep me on track. You can get a free sample Cleansheet by signing up for my newsletter HERE.
thank you , I was so pleased to see Bible reading and prayer in your morning routine . This will make a world of difference , not just in organizing your home , but your life . : ) .
I love this, and so glad I found it. Do you have any suggestions for a working mom with a toddler & one on the way?
This was surprisingly helpful today. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing! I agree with starting with dishes and clothes. Those things can be snapped back in to place or a pile so they don’t get other things in the house messy!
One of the most powerful motivators I have heard is this:
– How do you eat an elephant?
– One bite at a time!
That works for me!
Thanks for sharing! I agree it is best to start with dishes and laundry and then a good tidy up. Mostly, it takes time, which is a scarce resource!
I just about cried reading this. It’s exactly how I feel. I used to be super organized and on top of things, but then I got married, and I got lazy. This is exactly what I’ve been looking for to get me out of this rut. Thank you.
Oh my word. Ty so much for posting this! Definitely what I needed to hear tonight!!
Great blog. I saw u on pinterest. When i read your blog I thought about how change actually works. Thought of the old saying: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. How do you make a difference in your life, your job or the clutter in your house. One change at a time. For many the clutter adds up each day. For me my husband bought a new car that had to go into the garage. The clutter in my house has never been the same.
I have two teenage boys and they have tons of friends over. I keep the mess in an everchanging state of going through piles… some are pile of paper from years ago. My kitchen is always an extreme mess with dirty dishes on every inch of counter space, full dishwasher, full sink, over flowing trash and sticky floors everyday. I’m up to six loads of laundry a day, three of regular and three of catch up.
The kids are lazy, I’m exhausted (I work full time and study for my masters degree). I give up every day when i get home from work and go to my room and do my homework.
As of today there is only one clean room in the house, that’s the master bedroom our oasis… start with one room so you can have peace. Tomorrow is the 4th of July. There will be no bar-b-que but maybe we’ll start up the firepit and burn some paper!
Great blog. Reminded me anything is possible.
Thank you so much for this encouraging email! I think it’s what I need to get the ball rolling to help me to focus and motivate me to jump in even if it takes a little while.
I have completed the task of
1. laundry
2. dishes
3. feeding everyone
Papers and boxes of pictures/ memories are my stressors
Rhonda,
Wow! That’s awesome! For those papers and boxes of pictures and memories, set VERY SMALL goals to accomplish each day. If you focus on small projects at a time, you’ll get the joy of success and that little bit of progress will serve as motivation to keep on going when you have more time. You can do it!!!
Me also, my husband passed away almost 3 yrs ago. I packed up most of the rooms and then started un packing everything. My life my house is chaos. I missed my husband so very much and I kept sinking further down, my neighbor kept sending her son over for this or that and conversations started to get smoother and smoother, my house got broke into and I asked him to stay as I didn’t have a door for a week so I asked this son to stay over and he did. We started a relationship from friendship and I asked him to move in. I promised to put things away and still hadn’t finished. My mess is overwhelming. Reading this has made me feel like I can start the cleaning and debunking one day at a time, thanks!
“Don’ t worry about perfection, just do something”, love this words. Thankyou so much, mommy, for opening my mind.
Wow, lol, I can only laugh at how right on you are, you nailed it, lol! Glad to know you made it thru this lol.. even now just to make this first comment I’ve probably ever made anywhere, I’m having to fight a toddler’s handful of colored pencils on my phone…
Geez…my mother moved in wit me my husband and our 2 boys (3 & 7) and she is a very messy person..she has no sense about cleanliness and organization and I swear my boys r following her foot steps…so all that being said the frustration of trying to keep up with indoor and outdoor since she’s moved in is enuff to make a saint curse..she doesn’t seem to mind living with choas…and she tells at me if I get on her about lifting a finger ahhhhhh! I wanna move outta my own home! So with am that being said…trying to keep a clean organized house with 2 boys a husband my mother and half a farm…any pointers on how to deal w my mom and her messy habbits? God help me
Wow. I’m not alone. Thank you for writing this.
As I lay here after reading this blog, along with all the comments, I realize what a nice feeling it is to not feel alone. I am going to begin with step 1 and make sure I haven’t missed any appts or errands, then move on to the next step. I have a large family and I know I need to make a chart and split the housekeeping chores between all members of the family. Anyway, I’m looking forward to my email with the checklist. I’m so grateful I found this blog on Pinterest 😊
Oh, I’m so glad this has been an encouragement to you! You’re right that you’re not alone. It’s hard to dig your way out of the chaos, but YOU CAN DO IT!!! I’m so happy to have you here! 🙂
I needed this today. Thank you so much; This is the first time I’ve been on your blog and I plan to return 🙂
I’m so happy to hear this was an encouragement to you! And welcome to Simple Everyday Home! 🙂
Such a great article, thank you for sharing!